Caring for the Caregiver: Nurturing Your Loved One....
August 2, 2025
Full Title: Caring for the Caregiver: Nurturing Your Loved One While Honoring Yourself
By: LaTreece Ross, M.Ed., LPC
Caring for a loved one with Dementia or Alzheimer's is one of the most profound acts of love and dedication a person can offer. It is also one of the most emotionally, physically, and mentally demanding journeys. Watching someone you care for gradually lose pieces of their memory, independence, and personality can be heartbreaking—especially when your hands are tied, and there is no way to reverse the decline.
You are not alone in this. You are not “just” a caregiver—you are an advocate, a witness, a source of comfort, and in many ways, the bridge between your loved one’s past and present. But in order to continue to give from a place of strength, you must also protect your own well-being.
Understanding Caregiver Fatigue
Caregiver fatigue—sometimes called caregiver burnout—occurs when the emotional, mental, and physical demands of caring for a loved one become overwhelming over time. It often develops gradually and can lead to exhaustion, resentment, anxiety, or depression.
Common signs include:
- Feeling emotionally drained or numb
- Difficulty sleeping or constant fatigue
- Irritability or frustration with your loved one or others
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities you once enjoyed
- Feeling hopeless or helpless about the future
- Neglecting your own health and needs
Remember: Caregiver fatigue is not a sign of weakness or failure—it’s a sign that you’ve been carrying a heavy load for a long time. Just as your loved one needs care, so do you.
Caring for Yourself While Caring for Others
1. Prioritize Small Acts of Self-Care Daily
You do not have to take a week-long vacation to refill your cup. Self-care can be simple and brief—yet deeply restorative. Examples include:
- Taking a short walk outside to get fresh air and vitamin D
- Listening to calming music or guided meditations
- Drinking water and eating nourishing meals regularly
- Practicing deep breathing for a few minutes when overwhelmed
- Journaling your thoughts and emotions
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
It’s okay to say, “I need a break.” Arrange respite care —through friends, family, or professional services—so you can rest and reset without guilt. Contact your insurance company, non-profit and charitable agencies, or your benefits department at your workplace for possible respite care assistance.
3. Stay Connected
Isolation can worsen fatigue. Keep in touch with friends, relatives, or other caregivers who understand your journey. Even a short phone call can be grounding.
The Power of Community and Support Systems
Caregiving is not meant to be a one-person responsibility. Leaning on others is not a sign of weakness—it’s a lifeline.
- Support Groups: Whether online or in person, caregiver support groups provide a safe space to share experiences, learn coping strategies, and feel understood by people facing similar challenges.
- Therapy & Counseling: A mental health professional can help you process grief, guilt, and frustration, while also equipping you with coping skills tailored to your needs.
- Faith & Spiritual Communities: Faith communities can offer prayer, encouragement, and practical help.
- Local Resources: Many communities offer respite services, transportation assistance, and caregiver education programs—explore what’s available in your area.
Coping with the Emotional Weight of Change
It can be deeply painful to witness your loved one’s personality, abilities, and memories fade. Common emotions include sadness, anger, guilt, and even moments of relief—which can sometimes bring additional guilt. All of these emotions are valid.
Coping Strategies:
- Name Your Feelings: Saying, “I feel overwhelmed” or “I feel sad today” helps you acknowledge your emotional reality instead of suppressing it.
- Allow Yourself Time to Grieve: Grief is not only for death—it can be for the gradual loss of the person you once knew.
- Celebrate What Remains: Find joy in small shared moments—holding hands, hearing their laughter, or simply sitting together in quiet.
- Practice Mindfulness: Stay present with what you can do now, instead of dwelling on what’s beyond your control.
Focusing on Your Internal Locus of Control
"What's in your Hands?"
In caregiving, there are many things you cannot change: the progression of the illness, your loved one’s reactions, or certain medical realities. This is your external locus of control—the elements outside your influence.
Your internal locus of control is where your power lies. This includes:
- How you choose to respond to challenges
- How you care for your body, mind, and spirit
- What boundaries you set to protect your well-being
- The mindset you adopt each day
- The support you seek and accept
By focusing on what you can control, you reclaim agency in a situation that can often feel powerless.
Final Thoughts and Affirmations:
You are doing sacred work. While it may not always feel like it, your presence, patience, and care matter in ways words cannot fully capture. Your loved one’s journey may be shaped by illness, but it is also shaped by the love, safety, and dignity you provide.
You deserve rest. You deserve support. You deserve care—just as much as the person you are caring for.
If you find yourself weary from the battle within, remember: seeking help is not giving up—it’s choosing to strengthen your ability to keep going. Surround yourself with a network of care, lean on professionals and peers, and never forget that your well-being is just as important as your loved one’s.
Affirmations for Caregivers:
- I am doing my best, and that is enough.
- I am allowed to care for myself while caring for others.
- I am not alone on this journey.
- I have the right to ask for and receive help.
- I am strong, but I also honor my need for rest.
Written By; LaTreece Ross, M.Ed., LPC