"Say It Like You Mean It" – The 5 Love Languages

Dr. Gary Chapman gave us a gift with the concept of The 5 Love Languages. These aren't just cute personality types; they're the instruction manual you never got for loving someone the way they feel loved. Let's break them down:

1. Words of Affirmation – If your partner lights up when you say, “I appreciate you,” “I’m proud of you,” or “Your smile makes my day,” this might be it.
2. Acts of Service – Do they light up when you fill the gas tank or tackle their least favorite chore without being asked? Ding ding! 
3. Receiving Gifts – This isn't about price tags. It’s about thoughtful gestures—like their favorite snack on a rough day. 
4. Quality Time – Undivided attention, eye contact, shared laughter. No phones. Just you and them. 
5. Physical Touch – A warm hug, a shoulder squeeze, a cuddle on the couch can say “I love you” louder than words.

Affirmation Break:

“I am worthy of love that speaks my language. I am learning to both give and receive love in ways that feel authentic and fulfilling.”

Why Knowing Your Love Language (and Theirs) Matters

Imagine showing love in one language, but your partner only hears static. It's like bringing tacos to a sushi lover—not bad, just… not quite it.

Understanding each other’s love languages helps avoid emotional missed calls. You stop guessing and start connecting.

Take the 5 Love Languages Quiz together! It’s a fun, insightful way to start real conversations. Here’s the link:

Take the 5 Love Language Quiz:   https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

Discussion Prompt:

1. What is your love language? What is your partner’s?
2. When do you feel most loved by your partner?
3. What’s one communication habit you both can work on this week?

"Talk to Me, Not at Me" – Communication Tips for Couples

Most relationship tension doesn't come from what is said, but how it's said. (Yes, tone matters, friends.)

Try these tips to elevate your couple convo game:

• Use “I” Statements instead of “You always…”

“You never listen!”

“I feel unheard when I’m interrupted.”

• Reflect and Validate

“So what I hear you saying is you felt dismissed. That makes sense.”

• Timing is Everything

Don’t start a serious talk when someone’s “hangry” or halfway into Netflix. Schedule a "heart talk" moment when you're both present.

Affirmation Break:

“We are a team, not opponents. Together, we can work through anything with love and patience.”

"Fair Fighting" – Because Love Doesn’t Live in Shouting Matches

Conflict is natural, but how you handle it determines if your relationship grows or explodes like a soda can in the freezer.

Here’s a quick guide to Fair Fighting (no boxing gloves required):

1. Cool Off First – If tempers are hot, pause. Come back when you both can speak, not scream.
2. Stay on Topic – Don’t bring up that thing from 2017 unless it’s actually relevant. 
3. No Name Calling or Insults – Ever.
4. Take Turns Talking – Listen to understand, not to reload your next point.
5. Ask for What You Need – Clearly. Kindly. Without ultimatums. 
6. Seek Solutions, Not Blame – “What can we do differently?” > “Whose fault is it?” 

Affirmation Break:

“I can express myself without hurting others. I am capable of resolving conflict with peace and respect.”

Relationship Maintenance Isn’t Just for the Rough Patches

Don’t wait for a meltdown to do a check-in. Every couple can benefit from:

• Weekly “How are we doing?” check-ins
• Shared goals (personal, spiritual, fun!)
• Play, laugh, and try new things together
• Celebrating the small stuff—like getting through Monday without a meltdown.

Final Thoughts (With Love and Laughter)

Relationships are like houseplants. They need sunshine, water, a little talking to (yes, really), and the occasional repotting when things feel root-bound. When you learn your partner’s love language and communicate with grace, you're not just avoiding conflict—you’re building intimacy.

And don’t forget—you deserve a love that feels like home, one that speaks your soul’s language even on the hard days.



With heart and humor,

LaTreece Ross, M.Ed., LPC